concerning the world and everything in it

• Religion + The State = LAME.
  
• Gay Dancing is a national sport.
  
• The word 'random', used in a stupid context, is banned.
  
• It's against the law to break laws.
  
• England stays part of Europe because Europe is cool.
  
• Alternating upper and lower case while typing and typing in text speak = LAME (Unless, of course, it's on a cat macro or similar).
  
• R'n'frisbee is the new national sport. It involves using an R'n'b CD as a frisbee.
  
• Hair racism is crap and nasty.
  
• Gay marriage = Cool bananas.
  
• Teachers who can actually spell will get preferential treatment when applying for the job of teacher.
  
• Jesus is neither a cowboy nor a homeboy.
• Hitting something solves 99% of technical problems. The 1% it doesn't solve weren't real problems in the first place.
• The answer to every question is 'mansex!'.

when The ASPP gets elected

• We won't sit on chairs in the houses of parliament, we will sit on the floor as a sign of protest and stick apple stickers on the chairs. What we are protesting against, we're not quite sure of at the moment.
  
• Every ASPP member, when in parliament, has to wear their ASPP badge made with my really cool Badge-it.